Bulletproof Dave can usually be found eating everything in his fridge

Not everyone can really say that they have their own time to reflect on their life. This includes me. It's only when I sit down to write this blog that I realise what stupid decisions I've taken in life to get to this point.
Somehow, I'm still alive. It's really quite astonishing.

So this time, I thought I'd speak about the people in my life who put up with the stupid things I do, and how fantastic they are to stick around, even though I'm a twat at times.

To put it into perspective, my brain doesn't work like normal people's. I work on the crisp packet to apocolypse theory. Basically, down to someone dropping a crisp packet on the floor, and through several strange thought processes, I end up thinkinking it's the end of the world.
I once told a guy who tried to piss in my letter box that I was part of an elite sniper squad and if he tried any shit like that again, then me and my buddies would "take him out"....... Yep, I'm a twat.

Ok, so, five people in my life right now who make a difference.

1. My Sister!
Known her for.......wait, how old is she? 18? 19? I don't really know, but I've known her that long. I'm a rubbish brother to her to be honest with you. The last 2 of her boyfriends left her because they couldn't deal with me being around. When I say me being around, I met each of them once. I had a huge arguement with one of them, and the other I made cry because I thought it was funny he was ginger. In fact, my exact words to him were, "you shouldn't even have a girlfriend, ginger people shouldn't be allowed to breed". So yeah, your move ginger! To which he promptly started crying and left my sister the next day. Open mouth, insert foot.

2. Chopper!
Chopper is the drummer for Chase the Season. He is a really really really really good mate. Always there for me when I need him. And......I'm always there to ignore his advice, and do the opposite of whatever he tells me to do. He's a big lad too, he could easily punch me out with one hit (Then again, so could elmo if, you know, he wasn't fictional). Every time he give me advice on what to do, I go the complete different direction. It's becoming a bit of a joke actually. In fact, I think I might start to listen to him. Mainly because my ex girlfriend (who I took back for a 4th time, even though Chopper told me not to) stole my ipod when I broke up with her.
So yeah, listen to your friends peeps, or your ipod might go missing. I miss my ipod :(

3. Theo
Twat. Twat, twat, twat, twat, twat, twat, Bassist in Chase the Season, twat.
yet again, another person who I'm suprised hasn't laid me out yet. If you read my previous blog, I mentioned about him making a girl cry when he tried to insert parts of himself into parts of her. He really really really didnt want me to write about that. Especially not to publish it on the internet. But I did anyway. And his sister got hold of it (I had no part in giving her the link whatsoever, ok maybe a little bit) and she showed all her mates. It's unbelievable how fast news like that travels. Theo, for everything I've done, and everything I will do in the future, I'm sorry, but also proud of. :)

4. Marc RAMster
Marc is awesome. Full stop. He may be a little misguided, but his hearts in the right place. We argue every now and then, but one thing I always know with Marc is that the love will never fade. :) The only guy I've ever taken pictures of wearing just boxers and he's taken some of me. True story. Pictures on my Facebook profile pictures. Take a look, they rock.
The one thing about Marc is that even though he's slightly lost in life, his heart is in the right place. Always has been, and always will be.
Which is probably why he wants to hurt me lots. He sends me texts about it. I'm still not entirely sure if he hates me, or is coming on to me though.

5. Amy or Amy MARY (Whatever)
This girl only came into my life recently. I met her at a gig, right after coming off stage. She's one of Theo's mates. Her first words to me were. "You're a dick". And knew we would be mates for a long time. My usual day goes like this. Wake up to alarm, hit snooze, wake up to second alarm, hit snooze, wake up to Amy texting me. It's a good wake up routine. The only girl I know who openly calls me a cunt and hits me in public. It's a sweet relationship we have........

So yeah, so there's the big 5.
Guys, if you read this, I love you all, and thanks for putting up with my crap for all the time you've known me. It must be hard for you guys not to stamp on my face everytime I open my mouth :)
Translation: Please don't stamp on my face when I open my mouth. Thank you :)

You are all dicks though.


FINAL THOUGHT! ARGH!

I had an argument with someone once about the sounds that animals made. I said that Iguana's bark. She said that iguana's didn't.
Next time you see an iguana in a pet shop, or next time you're in Peru, Pick it up and drop kick it.

They definately bark.