Bulletproof Dave can usually be found in pain. Lots of it.

So, down to the first proper blog of the situations of my life. And what better situation to write about than New Years Eve?

Now, most people's New Years Eve comprises of a few drinks with friends and family, maybe getting a little bit tipsy and passing out in front of the BBC New Years Eve countdown, with a bottle of beer in their hand.

As the title suggests, mine ended up being slightly painful.

The guys from Chase the Season were there, and other than that, I had no idea who anybody else was. There were lots and lots of emos, I know that much. Even down to at one point I swear I was having a full blown conversation with one of them about suicide. That sure won't be a conversation I will forgot soon, mainly due to the fact that this guy knew so many means and ways, I could have sworn that he had either practiced, or was death in disguise. He just happened to be disguised as an 18 year old emo.

So the usual thing for a free-thinking single guy for me to do at New Years Eve is find a like-minded young lady, and proceed to try and cop off with her. Two words: Epic Fail. (strangely I woke up this morning with those two words written on my chest in permanent marker).

So Nicky has this great girlfriend called Charlotte. So he was sorted for the 'kiss at countdown'. Chopper told me at some point throughout the evening that he had been promised a kiss from a girl called Rebecca, and Aaron, the sly, posh dog he is had met a lovely (although extremely young) girl called Mollie. Now, I only realised her name was Mollie, because she had written her name on my left peck in permanent marker.

So midnight comes, and everyone is kissing their respective girls. And what about little old me? I kissed a 20 year old guy called Johnny. I refer you to my previous point of: Epic Fail.

So following drinking several things, some of which I swear are used in an industrial capacity, several of us getting our bodies completely covered in strange and dirty words and phrases in marker pen (one of which I remember was 'I Heart Anal') Chopper decides to drink his weight in Carlsberg. Now Chopper isn't exactly fat, but he has a bit of weight behind him. The equivalent weight in alcohol would kill a medium sized animal (probably a dog). So Chopper is now upstairs, hanging bare-arsed out of a window, throwing his internal organs up. However, still swearing that he is fine and that I should ignore him and continue the party.

Next, I see Charlotte, Nicky's Girlfriend, with her hands covered in blood. I didn't want to know what had happened, but she told me anyway. It turns out that Nicky being how he is, he had managed to cut his foot open on a broken Budweiser bottle. This cut is now bleeding constantly, and is not showing any signs of stopping. Judging from the fact that the carpet now has red Nicky-sized footprints all over it, where he has not noticed or ignored it, and carried on dancing.

So my New Years Eve consisted of looking after Chopper who at one point turned green, looking after Nicky, who refused to get medical attention, because apparently having that much alcohol in your system is a reason to carry on because it doesn't hurt, and watching Aaron kissing a young girl called Mollie who has a tendency to write her name (and several other strange things) on people's bodies in permanent Marker.

Sometimes, I love my life. Other times, I only pretend. But I'm always smiling, because I wouldn't have it any other way.