Bulletproof Dave can usually be found bumping into old friends........and foes

This week has been a strange one to say the least. When I say strange, its been so strange that to give it the right effect, you should probably say it in a stupid voice, while playing with yourself. That would pretty much sum it up.

So, after the New Years party fiasco, I decide to quieten down a bit, so that I can recharge the jaded and faded things I like to call my batteries. Even I realised that I would be kidding myself.

(by the way, as a note to readers, I love hanging out with the people I care about, they are usually strange and wonderful people that blow my mind. And so as to make myself perfectly clear to everyone, I shall be marking each paragraph with:

'Love it' - This isn't just Awesome. This is M&S Awesome

'Don't love it' - A bit like getting vinegar in your eye. Enough said.

So....Lets begin

During one lunch time break, while walking through the centre of what I have learnt the local council call a town, where the local (rat) kids saying hello to a foreign tourist with a random volley of punches and kicks, I bump into a girl called Felicity (her name isn't actually Felicity, but to protect identity, she will be played by an actor and her voice will be changed). Now something you should know about Felicity. She was my girlfriend when I was a shy and retiring 17 year old geek, controlled by hormones and acne cream. We had an awesome relationship at the time, and eventually breaking up while she was away at university. (I really don't do distance well) and this was two years ago. Since then, neither of us have seen or heard from each other. So we decide that we should catch up on old times and hang out together one day this week.
(Love it so much I want to rub myself against it)

Out of 7 Days: 6 Now Available

So when I get home that night, I find that an old friend of mine, (I'd make up a name for her, but I'm really not feeling imaginative right now) have left me a message saying that she is back in town, and we should meet for a drink or two with some friends. I thought, having not seen her in a while, it would be good times. Little did I remember about my 'free days' situation, or just how much alcohol it takes to enjoy this person's company.
(Don't love it, it stings in the sensitive areas)

Out of 7 Days: 5 Now available

Next morning, my good friend and fellow band member, Aaron, reminds me that we have still yet to book the practice. Now usually we book it at the end of each previous one, so we get the best rooms. We had failed to do this last week, as I managed to get distracted by shiny and interesting things outside. The trouble is, that as soon as the guys heard that I had spotted something shiny, they all followed me to investigate too. It turns out that the 'shiny thing' was a lamppost light reflected in a puddle. I swear, we are all retards sometimes. I'm surprised we know which way round our instruments go, let alone how they make sounds. So after several second of fierce debate on the phone with Aaron, band practice is booked.
(Love it. Chilling with the guys doing what I love, Perfection)

Out of 7 Days: 4 Now available

I saw Nicky today, who apart from looking smug with his beautiful face, reminded me that a friend of ours has a birthday this weekend, and we are going out to celebrate.
Twice. Please don't ask me why twice, Nicky finds it easier to concentrate when things are a nice round even number I guess.
(Love it - Party!, Don't Love it - Why Twice?)

Out of 7 Days: 2 Now available

So, two days left, and one of those, I have spent half the night, writing this to an audience which I'm convinced only exists in my head. It's a massive audience, don't get me wrong, but still, if I'm completely honest with myself, it's 99% imaginary.

So before I sign off, I will explain something strange which happened to me today.
While walking through town, a homeless guy asks me if I have any spare change. The following is the exact conversation:

'Got any Spare change mate?'
Me checking my pockets even though I know for a fact I don't
'Sorry mate, can't help you. I've got a spare cigarette though'
'What?'
'Would you like this spare cigarette?'
I hold out a cigarette from the packet I just bought with my spare change
'Nah mate, its a disgusting habit'

Since when did a homeless person obtain better morals than me?